A year after our epic road trip to Florida we wanted to take a trip back, but this time fly and rent a car while staying in a hotel when we weren’t sleeping at my aunt’s. We upgraded one friend of last year’s trip, replacing him with another, the legendary EPMG. Another friend of the original four bailed last minute because his girlfriend wasn’t happy about the trip. I will never forgive him for the last minute bailout. This left us with a group of three.
Before this binder we were trying to come up with a plan that would make this spring break even better than the last. A week before we left an adult shop was closing right by my friend Mike’s house. He stopped in and then later surprised us with a dumb theme that became crazier and crazier as the days went on. He paid about 20 dollars and made out with a bag of 10 men’s undergarments that male strippers would wear. There was a little bit of everything ranging from gross thongs, speedos, short shorts, and good old fashioned banana hammocks.
A few days into the trip we were hanging out by South Beach and decided to test the terribly corny outfits on. We were hanging out around the Miami U area by neighboring dorms with some girls that had cheerleading experience. That’s when the idea hit us. We would choreograph a funny dance with their help and perform it alongside other street performers on the boardwalk in Key West.
We ended up actually registering as street performers and had a tip bucket and a sign that displayed our dance group’s name as well as (incase it was nesecary) our sexual orientation incase you couldn’t already tell from EPMG yelling at groups of girls watching. It read “Bikini Party: We accept tips from everyone but phone numbers from girls only!” As it came time to get to our dancing location we were all thinking “Why? What are we thinking?” but EPMG pulled us together and we took some shots as liquid courage.
The boardwalk was intimidating. It was also hilarious and obvious we weren’t really dancers about 5 seconds in when we broke out moves like the “bus driver” and “the sprinkler”. The crowds we drew in were comprised of hundreds of people. Everyone was laughing except for the street performer’s coordinator. We told him it would only be a break dancing routine. He was probably fuming the instant we took our pants off. After about eight minutes we got kicked off and left to an applause but very little tip money. That night we were recognized at most places we went by our adorning fans.
Though Bikini Party was relatively successful we still had a lot more to do on our trip. My friend Mike and I rented a fishing boat in the Everglades. We immediately took it out of the regulated fishing area and a few minutes into the real portion of our voyage we stopped the boat to look around. We quickly heard a thud on the hull of the little boat and saw the top of a giant alligator. I grabbed the oar and jumped up yelling “Go Go Go!” as Mike struggled to start the little electric motor. We spent that day driving around and throwing food at alligators and joked that we should catch one and leave it in the trunk of the rental car that was becoming more trashed every minute we spent in it.
For the last leg of the trip we bought tickets to Wreslemania, which just happened to be in Florida while we just happened to be on Spring Break- we couldn’t say no. We picked up a fourth member to our group for the event, a friend of ours who also just happened to be in the right place at the right time. For the sake of trashing our rental car a little more we gave him a French Fry Party after we picked him up. This is where we went to Mc Donald’s and ordered twenty one- dollar fries. As if that didn’t seem weird enough, we started talking about all the “parties” we have been having. We then mentioned how we were expanding our horizons to new parties including a (you guessed it) French Fry Party. We immediately threw all of our fries through the car while directing them at our new group member. He was covered in salt for the rest of that day, but at least he wasn’t in as bad shape as our rental car was.
-Brian
High Five
Everglades Voyage (note the pink whistle on Mike)
trashed rental car
Wrestlemania fireworks
The birth of Bikini Party
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